Imagine for a moment that you can leave your body.
A feeling of happiness fills you with peace, and at the same time, the non-material part of you comes out of its shell. Gently you ascend three meters in the air. You look down, and you see yourself lying in bed placidly. You feel free; your enthusiasm leads you to discover what you would have never dreamt of.
At 15, feelings are intense and out of control. Passion whips you out of shape, thrashing you side to side with the force of a hurricane. Or at least, that was my case. I suffered from tremendous and premature love. Wrapped in powerful devotion, sometimes I couldn’t breathe with normality. I was submerged in thick, solid desire. My soul rebelled against my body. It was then that I began to dream. They were strange dreams of other worlds, dreams that seemed more real than my life. These dreams accompanied me on the path to the centre of my existence and the centre of all creation. The most primitive of my being gave free rein to my imagination and without caring about the fate that awaited me, I flew.
My body transformed into sensations. The doors of a kingdom full of colours opened. That which in the past was invisible to me now magically spread before my eyes.
It all started one of those afternoons in which I spent my time sighing for Rei, my first platonic love. My favourite way to pass the time was to imagine we were together:
“Rei was caressing my body tenderly, every inch of my skin shuddered with his soft touch. His deep blue eyes swept my body with want. We wrapped ourselves in sheets of passion “, and then it happened!
I was floating in the air outside my body.
Immediately I wanted to be with the most important person in my life. In less than a second, I went through a tunnel of light until I was face to face with her.
She was identical to me. Physically, she was me. The only difference was that she shone with subtle and warm light. Her way of moving, her gestures, her voice, everything about her resembled me. She looked 15; she was my height, same hair, same face. However, she had a hint of grace and purity that I had never noticed in a person before. Her bright eyes, full of love, and her lovely and sincere smile, made me feel safe. Suddenly, something that I would describe as the “air of eternity” enveloped me, impregnating me with a delicious fragrance that awakened my senses. A fleeting ray of light crossed my mind leaving me with the feeling that everything in my life was perfect.
Millions of tiny sparkles like twinkling stars surrounded us. Then, while my ‘double’ stared at me with an expression that swamped me with pure emotion, I heard her voice inside my head; She spoke for the first time: ‘I am the Enchanted Princess.’
She told me that since I first come into existence, thousands of years ago, she has been with me lived inside of me, she is me. The real me. The Princess in the Universe. She is a part of the source of creation.
The Enchanted Princess said that she would talk to me always every day of my life, but I could only hear If I listened. She was to lead me to the inexhaustible source of wisdom, strength and love, which is infinitely accessible to me, access is instantly granted by the opening and extending of my hand.
‘I know the world, and I understand the evolution of the human soul.’ We suddenly said in unison.
‘I know everything, from the beginning of time to its no end.’ We continued
‘I have lived in all the worlds and all ages. I see the truth.’ We said.
The Enchanted Princess is the pure divine essence, light of creation, and she lives in me. We closed our eyes and when we opened them, one second after we were in our home.
It was a glass temple called “Purple”. The temple dressed in different tones of purple, violet and lilac. It was adorned with small fountains with springing crystal clear water that flowed vividly. There were marble figures of white angels that moved and smiled when we looked at them. I could hear a melody that sounded like a tune of my creation. In the centre of the temple, there was a beautiful gleaming violet velvet throne. It had amethyst and rose quartz gemstones embedded around the edges.
I sat on it and she with me, entering in me like a soul into a body. I was one with her, complete and enlightened.
Present, past and future, The Enchanted Princess knew everything about me. I had the answer to all my questions. She would always be with me. She would never abandon me. She would always support me. She would always love me. She would always help me. She would always guide me and accompany me. She told me that her love was the greatest love I will ever have. Love that moves mountains and conquers fear. Whatever happened, my higher self “I” would teach me to see with the eyes of the soul whenever I wanted to.
I do not remember anything at all about that year other than my dreams and my fervent obsession with a boy with blue eyes, tan skin and black hair and thick eyebrows. He had a deep gaze. When we looked at each other, his eyes would daze me like sudden lightning. His stare would leave a pleasant yet acute ache behind, muffled up with his sweet and playful smile. Rei saw through me. He saw me bare with my soul at his mercy.
I used to imagine how our astral bodies ascended in the air and joined in divine ecstasy. I always believed that it is possible to reach union with the universe and feel the pulse of creation vibrate in you when your soul and that of your soul mate join in a higher dimension, the astral realm.
When Rei and I crossed paths in the corridors of our school, or the canteen, or at the entrance, or in the library, we spoke instinctively with our hearts. All our encounters were always unexpected or sudden.
Many afternoons, after class, I would go to the park that was near my school, in my sunny hometown city, Las Palmas de Gran Canaria. I would sit under the shade of a tree, and before I knew it, I was floating in the depths of what I thought was a dream. One of those afternoons, lying with my eyes open, I saw and felt a stream of light bathe me, it covered me with a strange and mysterious joy mixed with an innate sense of freedom. I got up. I was not aware that I was leaving my body behind. More light appeared before me this time it was in the shape of a door, and it invited me to leave the world. I wished with all my might to go through that door. Immediately, my astral body slid down through to the centre of the earth into an unknown place.
It was dark. A green and glowing ball the size of marble was floating a few centimetres from my nose. I stared at it, and while watching it, I realised that the direction of its movements was precisely the opposite to mine with the same rhythm and speed. I tried to catch it, but the little ball was fast. It flew away. I followed it.
My astral body was moving at the speed of light in the middle of a landscape that resembled bronze-coloured mountains, so high that they reached a reddish-orange sky above. We arrived at a place similar to a valley, in there, the air was visible in a forest-green tone, what could be both the ground and the sky was emerald green. Thousands of tiny flowers covered the space between the land and the sky.
The flowers changed colour as I moved around them. They turned to all the colours possible and imaginable as well as all the impossible and the unimaginable. In the centre, suspended in the air, and taking a large part of the space, there was a gigantic diamond.
It had endless faces, many shapes, and numerous angles. A light came from it, illuminating the area like the sun. I heard little voices and whispers. I wanted to know who they were. Instantly strange beings materialised all around me. Soon there were dozens. They were tall, very elongated and thin. They stretched like chewing gum in all directions as they moved, their bodies were continually changing shape. Some approached and threw themselves against the diamond and to my surprise, they submerged in it and disappeared as if it were water. When I came close to it, I noticed that the gem was solid and cold, yet I had a strong and irresistible urge to launch toward it. So I did.
I went through the glass, and I swam in an immense variety of waters, lakes, rivers and seas until I reached the Atlantic Ocean. I floated, swam and dived for a long time, and then I went back to the park near the school.
I entered my body, and when I opened my eyes, there was Rei, standing in front of me, I couldn’t see his face with clarity, the sun dazzled me, but I recognised his essence instantly. He held out a hand to help me up. I stared at him with a smile from ear to ear. I was sure that words were not necessary because we could communicate telepathically.
‘You were deep asleep.’ He said.
‘Really?’ I pretended not to have been purposefully dreaming.
‘I have a favour to ask you.’ He continued.
Whatever you want my love. I thought.
‘Yes, sure, ask away!’ I replied with a manic smile.
‘I want to get a gift for Susana. I’m going to ask on a date. Can you help me choose it?.’ He concluded with a courteous air of gallantry.
I remained silent and stiff for a few eternal seconds. And then to my surprise and his too, I shouted a loud and resounding: No!
I felt I was spitting my heart out with the negation. I immediately walked away from Rei, regretting every single step I took. I felt a cold air covering me from head to toes due to the sovereign shame I was bringing upon myself with my strange behaviour.
I spent the next two weeks without going to school. I called in sick every two days pretending to be my mother. Every morning I left the house with the beach towel in my backpack and wearing a bikini under my school uniform. I was going to the beach. I would lay on the sand imagining it was Rei’s body. I’d let the rays of the sun caress me as if they were Rei’s hands. I listened to the sound of the sea imagining that it was his whispers of love and passion.
The evening that I was planning to reappear in high school, it was for a rock concert and a party. I had decided that it would be my night. During the day I bought myself a sexy dress. The bottom part barely covered my butt. And the top part showed proudly, my round underdeveloped boobs nearly completely. When I got home, at lunchtime, after going to the beach and shopping, I was so excited for the night that was ahead of me that I did not even notice my parent’s angry faces. I sat at the table, immersed in my thoughts.
‘How is school going, Sylvia?’ My father’s voice sounded from a distant world.
‘Very good’. I replied without leaving my world.
‘Good?! How good is it, child!’
My mother’s sudden yelling snatched me from my dreams. Her words took the form of machine guns, grenades and bombs. I did not bother listening to her. I just tried to flee or raise the white flag, caring very little about her rage, until I detected the words:
‘You are grounded indefinitely.’
Those words fell on me like a meteor that broke my head in wisps.
I begged them to let me out that night. I cried, like never before, but they did not pay the slightest bit of attention to me.
Yet I didn’t give up. At nightfall, I said goodnight to them as if I was going to bed, calm and docile. Then I got dressed, I put pillows under my blanket, and crept out the front door of my house. While walking away, I made fun of my parents and their ignorance.
When I arrived at the school party, I felt a bit uncomfortable. Everyone seemed to be looking at me, well at my dress and with sheer disapproval. As soon as I entered the auditorium, I saw Rei. He looked me up and down from the other side of the room and began to approach me. Something lit inside me.
Emotion tickled my entire body. For a moment, the same thing that happened to Julieta when she saw Romeo for the first time happened to me: The whole world disappeared, and only Rei and I existed. Then I knew that Rei would be mine. As he approached, I closed my eyes, congratulating myself for having achieved my dream.
Before I opened my eyes, I noticed how a firm and vigorous hand grabbed my arm abruptly and turned me in the opposite direction from Rei! I had never seen my father, so supremely furious. My mother shouted my name at the top of her voice, and that was not enough for her because she grabbed my hair and pulled me away from the party all way to my dad’s car, and we drove away.
I do not remember anything else from that night in the real world.
I cried and cried until I fell asleep. I woke up with tears in my eyes in a dark room, sitting on a chair. A few meters away, I could make out the silhouette of a woman leaning against the wall. After noticing her presence, I watched the woman approach me. Her walk was slow and elegant, very feminine.
‘What’s wrong with you? Why are you crying?’ _ she asked.
‘I’m in love’ I answered, confused in the situation
‘And what are you going to do?’ She inquired. She looked at me waiting for a response, impatiently as is her life depended on it
‘I want to die.’ I announced.
The woman roamed around the room and then she looked at me as if she could see my thoughts.
‘How can you say that?’ she asked angrily as if my death directly affected her. ‘You cannot think like that.’ She spoke in whispers and under her breath. ‘Not you. It’s impossible. I do not believe it.’ She was suddenly talking to herself, deeply disappointed. ‘It cannot be’ She sighed.
‘I’m very sorry, ma’am’ I said, not knowing how to react.
The woman opened a door and quickly went out of the room, holding my hand to have me follow her. Her house was beautiful; every detail was perfect. We crossed a large living room with glass furniture and stone ornaments. Intense colours were decorating the walls, and a lovely aroma of flowers and plants added divinity to the place.
The woman looked like she was in her 30s, but I sensed that she was older. We passed a large window that overlooked a swimming pool. She poured us a glass of champagne, toasted our health and after taking a sip, she took off the purple silk dressing gown that she was wearing revealing a perfect figure in a purple bikini. She wore a pendant, a thin and shiny silver chain from which heart-shaped rose quartz was hanging. She jump into the water.
‘My daughter is your age. Last night she told me the same thing. That she wanted to die. That’s why I called you. I want you to help me understand. I’m glad that you are feeling that way, I’m happy to relate, but I do not remember this. I need help’
The woman spoke as if she knew me and my life.
‘Someday you’ll forget the things that make you cry, and you will learn to live only with all that brings joy, and like magic, everything that doesn’t make you happy will disappear. It’s just a question of remembering to forget. Or remember to remember. Forget what you don’t like, focus only on what you love, everything you love. But I’m happy you haven’t learnt that yet because I need your help.’
‘Thank you.’ I said, pretending I understood.
Forget what I don’t like. How the heck am I going to do that? Everything I don’t want is right on my face, always. I thought.
I guess I could turn the other way. Focus only on what I love. I’m not sure I want to do that just yet. I wouldn’t have anything to complain about if I did that but I could focus on Rei all day. Yeah, I’m delighted to do that. I thought to myself.
‘Tell me, what is it that makes you fight? How do you get out of the pit of despair? I need your help.’ She said, for the third time, suddenly interrupting my going into thinking-of- Rei mode.
‘Excuse me?’ I asked, confused.
It was impossible. Why would a woman like her be asking a girl like me for help? She was everything I wanted to be. Perfect looking and naturally rich. How beautiful the surprises of life or dreams. Who is this extraordinary woman? And if she needed my help, was I extraordinary too?
‘Tell me, will you? What drives you out of sadness, what pushes you into wanting to achieve your dreams?’ She asked, from the swimming pool.
‘Love’ I answered, without thinking.
‘The love that makes you believe in yourself. When you believe, you see the beauty of life, and you know the road to your dreams. You can push through low self-esteem, pain, hurt and failures when you allow yourself to dream beyond invisible colours, and you let yourself believe in your dreams because you love yourself. When you are too low, too sad, too beaten, all that can save you is your dreams and your faith in them.
You can hold on to your dreams when you are full of love and when you have faith big or small, but the measure of your faith is determined by how much you love yourself. Your true self loves you and guides you along the way always and forever. Your consciousness needs to be a match of that exact love, immense, eternal, unconditional. Then your heart recognises your destiny and step by step you walk in the direction of your dreams.’
The words flowed from me directly from the depths of my soul. The Enchanted Princess was speaking to the lady.
‘I believe in me, I believe in my dreams, I believe in my destiny_ said the princess with my voice.’
With the first rays of sunlight, my little eight-year-old sister came into the room. My astral body returned to my physical body, and I woke up. My little angel smiled at me and then she put on her cheeky and mysterious grinning face the one she usually puts on when she is hiding something.
‘What?’ I asked
‘Nothing.’ She grinned.
‘Awww. Tell me’ I begged, with my lost puppy face.
‘A boy brought this, and he told me to give it to you.’
She then produced a small jewellery box and put it in my hand.
‘Who?’ I asked. Do you know his name? Was his name Rei?’
‘He didn’t say his name’ She said and ran out of my room.
I opened the box. I had a strong moment of doubt when I saw the heart-shaped rose quartz crystal pendant hanging on a thin, shiny silver chain. Was this real? Was I still dreaming? It was identical to the one the woman in purple’s necklace, and suddenly I was illuminated! She was me! She was me in the future I dreamed of having.
Ever since that time in my life I know that reality is whatever dream we choose.